Old School

This morning I decided to focus yoga on meditation because I have been feeling tense lately and that’s no way to be. It takes too much energy away from being present and all that negative energy binds to your body and gets trapped making it harder to relax. 

It felt so good. It reminded me my early days so many years ago when yoga became part of my life.  There was so much drama and sadness back then and yoga became my reprieve. 

This morning my alarm was set for 6:30 although I was already awak but I forgot I had set a song to it.   Viva la ve (I am not sure I spelled it right) from Cold Play. 

Although I am not a religious person there are aspects of religion that remind me of the suffering people live through and how it enhances their spirituality when taken as not a punishment but as a personal lesson that helps our “spirit” heal so we become more empathetic, compassionate, understanding. 

The song reminds of of place I was ten years ago when I was shifting from feeling punished to accepting a better understanding about the person I am inside.  The one I love but the one who felt unworthy of it. 

So the song as Christian as it is in lyric reminds that the truths people push on others in ways that cause misery and suffering and so many told an untold casualties, are not in itself truth but things build on sand and I think that’s a beautify written line, “pillars built on sand”. 

It briefly reconnected me to a “spirit” if you will, that feels like it illuminates my soul; that with or without a true life purpose, that feeling whatever it is, brings life into prospective. 

When I let my thoughts flow in mediation every now and again I come to a realization that may only be reflective of my own “truths” but my thoughts were that when I close my eyes and try to see myself as I do in the mirror but with my eyes closed, the person I picture and the person I see when I open my eyes and look are not the same. 

The illusion of myself is different from the one in my mind that has never been able to draw a perfect match of what I see through my eyes and what I see in my mind. 

Because the person you aren’t isn’t in the mind, it is the mind and the mind doesn’t see itself, the mind is. 

When I opened my eyes, the person looking back at me seemed beautiful.  Not the ugly girl I see when I wake in the morning and I thought, “how come I can see beautiful today but not other days?” Ah, because when I opened my eyes this time, I saw myself. 

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