Race Annoyance

That’s me on this inside. Something that’s bothering me a lot more lately is the assumptions that people make about what I am and when I tell people they still try to tell me I am something else. 

I have nothing against anything people want to say that I am except that when I am not and they still insist that I am, it makes me mad. 

Also, because I am not a lot of any one thing, people who are more of any race tell me that I am not. 

It goes like this.  People ask all the time what I am.  I say Filipino.  They say oh, Mexican.  Noooo… Filipino.  What’s Filipino?  I am Asain.  What kind of Asain, Filipino. 

So you’re like Mexican?  No. My mom is Chinese and Polynesian.  She is Filipino.  She’s Asain.  

So anyone other than Filipino asks me that and then still don’t get it.  They insist that I am Spanish or Mexican because I just don’t look Asain to them. 

To other Asians, they be like, you’re not a real Asian.  Um.  Okay, then what am I?  To other Filipinos, I am not enough Filipino to be a real Filipino. 

To others, when you mention you’re Polynesian as well, they go “oh, okay that’s where you get your color from” and that’s true. 

To other Polynesian, I am not Polynesian because I don’t speak the language and I am not enough Polynesians to be considered Polynesians. 

To white people, they ask what I am because I am tan.  If I told them I was white, they look at me just like everyone else does and think I am crazy because I am not all white so I cannot be white. 

Honestly, it actually doesn’t fucking matter but I do get annoyed by it because I apparently can’t claim to be anything.  I feel like that dude from Malibues Most Wanted. 

So to be any of the other than white races, you also have to speak the language and practice their culture. 

I am Filipino.  I don’t speak much Tagalog but I do eat the food, cook the food, and trust me, there are things that I grew up with that cutlery Filipino and I don’t know any other way about that.  

Yet, I don’t look Filipino. 

I am American. American should be considered a race because I am so mixed that I don’t fall into any category other than American but even then, people are obsessed with being white and currently, it makes me feel like I am somehow disgraced because I am only half European and those people have some chip on their shoulder about being the superior race. It’s weird. 

Furthermore, I am not Spanish. As much as people love to insist that I am, I am not.  My ancestors were German and French Basque.  

Why on earth people can look at me and tell me what they think as if they know annoyed the hell out of me.  Sorry I don’t fit into any perfect box where it’s easy to have pride in something because you feel like you belong to that. 

I don’t and have never felt like I really belonged anywhere except were people designate me as. 

And for the most part, the only place I have ever lived where no one bothered me about it and I felt like I fit in was Hawaii. 

Be here, and lately.  I get so mad at people for being so proud of who their blood that being just a sample of their I heritience is somehow not good enough.  

It would seem to me that if they were that proud, they would also be happy that a person like me exists. 

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